Liliana Rodríguez Alvarado – Círculos (Circles) (2018)

6daEXIt Improvisation Ensemble performing ‘Círculos (Circles)’ (2018) by Liliana Rodríguez Alvarado.

Performers: Yiannis Dimitroudis, Yorgos Holopoulos, Chrysi Parpara, Dimitra Pavlou, Ioanna Valsamara

Auditorium of Panteion University Athens, 6/2/2019 “Music Bridge Over Syngrou Avenue”.

A project conducted by Onassis Cultural Center Athens and Panteion University Athens. Project head: Lorenda Ramou Professor in charge, Panteion University: Georgios Klimis

The poem that accompanies the piece, written by the composer aka Nabora Carrillo:

Ergodicidad = ergodicity
“todo cambia pero todo se mantiene igual”
“everything changes but everything remains the same”
I’m obsessed with the fact that
I see everytime, everywhere, things are always repeating in different ways
With different persons, colors, flavors, places, families, couples.
This piece is one of a series of pieces based on that. I really want that this one be the last of the series but I don’t think I will be able to escape from it.

Like when you scroll down to read Facebook news
like when you eat with gluttony
like when you love with your conditions
like when you spend all your money partying
like when you buy only to buy
like when you think only about yourself
like when you stay because it’s convenient
like when you don’t change what bothers you
like when you get up at the same hour with the same routine
like when you act the same at Christmas or family parties
like when you clench your teeth
like when you watch the same type of movies
like when you have that ritual before your important events
like when you judge the same kind of people
like when you smoke three cigars or ten
like when you overestimate the same type of people
like when you don’t act in that situation
like when you overreact in that other situation
like when some situation make you uncomfortable
like when you zip your mouth even though everyone already knows what happened
like when you leave your tasks for the end
like when you feel guilty
like when you forgive because you love
like when you smile in uncomfortable situations
like when you pay attention to what other people have that you don’t
like when you want to control the situation your way
like when you are so friendly that it becomes fake
like when you do networking
like when you form an opinion about other people's situations
like when you give a gift to the person you love
like when you have the same routine
Like when you don’t pay attention to your body
like when you keep smoking
like when you pay something and you never use it
like when you put that face when something bothers you
like when you can not be alone
like when you always do the same thing to escape from your problems
like when you keep thinking about unimportant things
like when you torture yourself with thoughts of self-harm
like when you listen to the same song
like when you devour all the almonds
like when you keep doing the same
like when you keep doing the same
like when you keep doing the same
Like when you don’t do what you should
Like when you're still stressed by that person
Like when you know you should leave but you stay
Like when you know you should stay but you go
Like when you grind your teeth
Like when you get those warning signs
And you ignore them
Like when you want to scream
Like when you have headache
Like when you do not pay attention to the body
Like when you want to reflect, but temptation comes
Like when it's easier to say no
Like when it's easier to say yes
Like when you fall in love without thinking
Like when they treat you badly and you still follow them
Like when you're still the cliché of a woman
Like when you're still the cliché of Mexican
Like when your pet asks you for love
Like when you remember the way you look like when you ask for love
Like when another pet that is not yours asks for love (and you remember the way you look like when you ask a stranger for love)
Like when you let your friend do something you know is wrong
Like when you stay quiet
Like when you can not do anything (yes you can)
Like when you think you can’t do anything
Like when history represses you
The genetic history
Like when you prefer falling asleep
Like when it's 11:54 a.m.
As when it is Holy Thursday
Like when you move and stay the same
Like when you change your house but you're still the same
Like when you think that changing your city will change you
Like when you idealize
Like when you see a cat interacting with a dog
Like when it's 11:55 am in Torreón Coahuila, Mx.
Like when you are a fool
Like when you’re being sanctimonious
Like when you hate
Like when you love
Like when you see the gray at dawn
Like when you cheat
I'm obsessed with the word “circle” and with the circle
"Everything changes, but everything remains the same"
I can’t do that, in the past things were different, I think, because I made them different, but the evil existed in my father's laziness, in my mother’s nurturing.
Like when the family helps you
Like when the family fucks you
Like when they do not love you and you're still clinging to them
Like when you smile at a stranger and you enjoy the day
Like when you caress a cat
Like when your friend's mom doesn’t love you
Like when you're hungry
And you smoke a cigar
Like when you decide to drink alcohol instead of facing yourself.
like when you decide to take poison and die little by little
or like when you repent and can not go back
like when the effect of the poison passes and you want more
like when you get anxious
like when your hands are sweating because you're nervous
like when you want to shit because you're nervous
like when your knees tremble out of fear
like when you think Facebook knows what you are thinking
like when you're hot and you forget it
like when you do not need anyone and you forget it
like when happiness returns
like when you already know what you will and won’t do
like when you really do know, but you're still taking the drug
like when you're so confused that you do not know what you write
like “How, when, leave it, alright?”
Like when the ayahuasca told you that everything is fine and you forgot about it.
Like when you get drugged and drugged and drugged each day using one thing, then another day using another thing, and so on, you repeat patterns from your ancestors and their ancestors, the same way in sequence and movement that micro-ogranisms use to reproduce, that force of attraction that kills any other, that way of wanting that we never know if it's real or not
The dog fighting against the cat is the new way to see nature: all against all. All for the pleasure of the coolest, of the most badass chingón.
For that pornographic image, even your little brothers see you as they want to eat you.
It's the decline of the city, I do not know, ignore it, do your things, stand firm, escape, do not feel uncomfortable, do not react, do what you want;
Pleasures are the things we pursue the most and for which we make circles and circles of pleasure; people change, things are changed, houses are changed, colors are changed, seasons, day, night, but the energies don’t, keep your energy safe from them, if you do not want them, dogs follow you, waiting to catch you, you can not handle them, you can not change centuries and centuries of circles.
The circles, the cycles, the passage of the sun, the passage of the moon, the passage of water and it is never the same, never, those cycles that are the same every day and always for centuries of the centuries.

By Liliana Rodríguez Alvarado aka Nabora Carrillo:
Born in Torreón Coahuila
Living in Morelia Michoacán
Mocha Provinciana
Crazy bipolar

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: